I'm gonna tell all you girls a secret, please keep it to yourself
I'm gonna tell all you girls a secret, please, please keep it to yourself
Why it's a million dollar secret, so please don't tell nobody else

Now if you're a real young girl
And you want to get rich quick
Get an old, old man, girls
And that'll be the lick
You know those old men are fine, yes they know just what to do
They'll give you lots of loving, but they'll give you a whole lot of money too
(and I love that part)

Now he'll tickle you under your chin
And he'll scratch you on your side
He'll say "Wake up you fine young thing
Give me my morning's exercise"
Those old men are fine, yes yes yes they know what to do
They'll give you lots of loving, but they'll give you a whole lot of money too

Now I've got a man who's seventy-eight
And I'm just thirty-three
Everybody thinks I'm crazy
But his will's made out to me!
Yes that man is fine, girls he really knows just what to do
Why he'll give you lots of loving, but he'll give you a whole lot of money too

(solos)

Now I've told all you young girls
Exactly what to do
Now let me tell you women
If you're over forty-two
Get you a young dude, and raise him to your hand
Cause he'll make you think life is wonderful, yes you'll think the world is grand

Now take a look in the barnyard
See that old fat hen
She's got a fresh young rooster
Feels just like a chick again
So get a young man, and raise him to your hand
Cause he'll make you think life is wonderful, yes you'll think the world is grand

You know he'll spend your hard-earned money
Make your life a hell on